Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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