I will die if light touches me.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
