So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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