a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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