i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
