I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
