I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
