You made me cry and you don't even care
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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