In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
