It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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