dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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