I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
