Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
