i don't like sucking hair
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
