"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
