I wanna bring you to show and tell
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
