there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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