so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
