2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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