Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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