we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
