I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
people are starting to question the shark bite story
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
