my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
