Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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