Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
