how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
