Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize