i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
