i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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