It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
