Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
