And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
