I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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