New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
