Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
