so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
