My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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