fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
