i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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