If i could tip my vagina, i would.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
