This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
