At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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