On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
