Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
