there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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