then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
