who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
