Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
