You're completely useless in the revolution.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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