She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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