So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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