I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
