I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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