Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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