how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
