Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
